” The difference between you and everyone else, is everyone else. And that’s a lot, so you should feel special. ”
Jarod Kintz, This book is not for sale
In this gloomy, cold morning, sipping coffee at Starbucks a thought came to my mind, why do we need others to make us feel special about ourselves ? Isn’t this about ME? So where does others fit into this equation?
I am guilty of falling into this trap of *needing* affirmation from others that ME matters. Constantly pleasing and helping others by going an extra mile. Don’t get me wrong, I strongly believe in giving and helping, without attaching any expectations, but learning to draw a line is the key to ensure that we are not devaluing ourselves in the process. As I matured, I stopped looking at other people faces, actions or reactions that if they are pleased with my efforts, will they like me or appreciate me. All these feelings are connected to insecurity, low self esteem, lack of confidence (which I will cover in my other posts), past experiences and trying to fit in or belong. We human are very complex and some days I feel that I have overpowered this monster but I will be lying.
I learned with time that there is no one like me because no one thinks like me or possess same unique qualities, flaws, skills and passion like me so why bother with what others think. GOD created me as an unique individual, so I am SPECIAL. So start thinking that there is no one like you and YOU ARE SPECIAL.
* PLEASE SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS *
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Ah, I struggle with this too. I need to work on it as well!
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Yeah its a constant struggle but I remind myself everyday and helped a lot …:)
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Self-actualisation breeds contentment and contentment breeds acceptance. We control what we think and what we do. We also control how we respond to others. We are on this amazing journey and the only logical direction is the one where we see aspiration. 🙂
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Very well said Emma….it’s a journey….we control who we are and where we are heading….
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And yes its amazing ..:)
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Indeed. Smiles 🙂
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We simply have to let go and believe it 🙂
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Very well written We do write all these things but how much do we follow it is the question.
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Over time my take on this has changed. I do things for people (my husband, kids, family) because they are important to me – so I am doing it for myself only. Ever since I have started looking at things this way, there is no expectation from others – after all I have done it for myself. I still fall into the old trap but less often now than before.
And when I look back, the only things I wished I had done more go like this – laughed harder, slept more, enjoyed time with parents because those were the days without any cares, had more of those times with siblings and cousins when we could talk forever about anything. AND It’s again about ME!
It is so easy to lose myself in the hustle and bustle every day but a slight change in how I look at things: I can see ME everywhere. Just helps me gain some sanity and move on. And for people who do not see ME, I actually find that they do not play any important part in the life I have created for myself. So works well for me.
You are right: You are what you are and no one can take that from you. So as Aarushi says to me: Be Amazing, Be yourself. Just how much you can learn from an 11 year old 🙂
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Well said ….it actually describes your journey …i have witnessed it and you are right if people don’t see the real you they don’t play any important rule….yes, wish to be bk in time where we were more carefree …but NOW matters ..so let’s make the most of it……xoxo….
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